Engagement on the rocks after man demands prenup before marriage, fiancée feels betrayed and questions their relationship: “I didn’t think this would be such a dealbreaker”

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Briana Viser • Writer and Editor
Apr 20, 2025 2:00 PM EDT

When you choose your life partner, it's not uncommon to have some doubts beforehand. I remember when I got married that I felt so over the moon, and honestly didn't have a tinge of doubt. Of course, marriage is never a straight course though. It's muddled with twists and turns that you never expect, and you find out about your partner along the way. When you're dating and living together for years, it may feel as if you know the person by the back of your hand. Like you know everything about them, and that there are no surprises. But people do change, they evolve, and it's just something to keep in mind when you say "I do" and spend the rest of your life with someone. 

In any relationship communication is key. When assumptions are made, things go astray and don't always come out the other side in a good way. 

In the story below, the protagonist is a man who's engaged to be married. He suggests a prenup in any event that they'd become divorced, but this is like a dagger to his fiancée's heart. You'll have to read the full story below for all the juicy details. 

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  • 01

    AITAH for wanting a prenup before marriage?

    Prenuptial Agreement this day of in the year hereinafter referred to as Prospective Husband, and as follows: hereinafter referred to as Prospective Wife, hereby near future and wish to come and property
    via zimmytws from Getty Images / Canva

    This image is for illustration only, and the subjects are models; the image does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 02
    | 31M recently got engaged to my girlfriend 28F and we've been on cloud nine until I brought up the idea of a prenup
    via u/juicethekidd12

  • There’s something to be said here. There’s romance, and living in a fairytale, and then there’s practicality and realism. It’s not impossible for something to happen that could result in divorce, as sad as it is. 

  • 03
    I run my own business and have a good amount of savings plus a house I bought a few years ago She's doing fine too but doesn't have as much financially which is totally okay by me
    via u/juicethekidd12
  • 04
    The prenup isn't about not trusting her It's just something I've always felt made sense It's about protecting both of us if things ever go sideways I even told her I'd want her to have the same security if roles were reversed
    via u/juicethekidd12
  • 05
    But she took it hard Said it made her feel like I was expecting a divorce and that it killed the romance of everything
    via u/juicethekidd12
  • 06
    We haven't had a full on fight but the mood shifted and she's been kind of distant since I brought it up I feel a bit blindsided because I didn't think this would be such a dealbreaker
    via u/juicethekidd12
  • 07
    Now I'm stuck wondering if I'm being cold and overly logical or if this is just a hard conversation that we need to work through AITA for even asking
    via u/juicethekidd12
  • 08
    silentsilentor • 5h ago I would say NTA because a prenup isn't necessarily a bad thing, but a prenup is something you should discuss before even getting engaged. Have you mentioned it at all before??
    via u/silentsilentor
  • 09
    Even while dating? It sounds like you just dropped the idea on her.
    via u/silentsilentor
  • 10
    LovinTheLifelnFL • 5h ago You might also mention to her what if she becomes a stay at home mother to raise the children while you continue to work and then you split up? she would want to have something set in writing that she would get so
    via u/LovinTheLifelnFL
  • 11
    much per year of taking care of the children and not working
    via u/LovinTheLifelnFL
  • 12
    She would have her attorney look at it and you would have your attorney look at it and make it fair for both of you.
    via u/LovinTheLifelnFL
  • 13
    KGC90 5h ago It's smart. You own your business. And marriage and children can change people. Whether good or bad. Protects both of you.
    via u/KGC90
  • 14
    wemblewobble 5h ago Nta for wanting a prenup. But you should have brought it up months ago, well before proposing. You messed up dropping this on her after she had agreed to merge her life with yours.
    via u/wemblewobble
  • 15
    What terms did you offer? Does she even know what's in it yet?
    via u/wemblewobble
  • 16
    Cheezburger Image 10496076800
    via Zeinab Ghassemi from Pexels / Canva

    This image is for illustration only, and the subjects are models; the image does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 17
    mechtil_d .5h ago A prenup is smart but I'd still hate it. It's a sensitive topic for sure. Make sure she invests in some property because it's a trap to live in a home that you have no rights to.
    via u/mechtil_d
  • 18
    AssistantAccurate4... If this is something you 5h ago always felt, why wouldn't you have brought it up before proposing??
    via u/AssistantAccurate464
  • 19
    ThrowAway-Make... 4h ago This is why it's a good idea to have conversations about values around money, and all your other values, earlier in the relationship. By the time you get engaged, there should be no surprises about asking for a prenup, because
    via u/ThrowAway-MakeMyDay
  • 20
    you've already had the discussion and have shared, or at least compatible, values.
    via u/ThrowAway-MakeMyDay
  • 21
    If this relationship doesn't. survive, remember that for the next relationship. And if you decide to keep moving forward, make sure you come up with all sorts of agreements around how you'll parent your children, how you'll handle career changes, health challenges, etc.
    via u/ThrowAway-MakeMyDay
  • 22
    Cheezburger Image 10496077312
    via oattobar69 from Getty Images Pro / Canva

    This image is for illustration only, and the subjects are models; the image does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 23
    Premarital counselling can be helpful to navigate the conversations that shouldn't be left to discover several years into your marriage.
    via u/ThrowAway-MakeMyDay
  • 24
    otomemer • 5h ago INFO: You said it protected both of you, what parts would protect her? What did you tell her?
    via u/otomemer
  • 25
    Historical_Fish_3372 • 5h ago NAH This is entirely dependent upon what the prenup says. You say you bought a house. Nice. Do you own it outright? Will that be the marital home? Are you commingling assets? Is your
    via u/Historical_Fish_3372
  • 26
    attorney writing the prenup? Does she have a separate attorney who will review it?
    via u/Historical_Fish_3372
  • 27
    acrogirl84 •5h ago We take out insurance on our cars, our houses, our health, literally everything that we value. nobody plans to get in a car accident or for their house to catch on fire, but in case it does- we are protected. When the divorce
    via u/acrogirl84
  • 28
    rate is almost 50%, why would we not take out “insurance" in the form of prenups on our marriages.
    via u/acrogirl84
  • 29
    Idk I'm a woman but I'm in a career field that drives a high income. I'm sure I'll make more than my future husband- I tell everyone upfront that I'm not getting married without a prenup.
    via u/acrogirl84
  • 30
    It's just protecting yourself and it's smart. Plus you can tailor it to your specific relationship and create clauses for infidelity, etc. I don't see why not
    via u/acrogirl84

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